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As a natural human and mom, it is normal to struggle at times. It’s normal to compare ourselves to others. The big one for me right now is comparing my body to other women’s bodies.
I’m not a heavy person. I weigh about 130LB and am 5’4, so why do I care how thin other women are? I’m pretty tired of thinking about it.
I shouldn’t care about this at all.
The other thing that I do is compare the cleanliness of my home to other women who have cleaner homes. I wonder how they juggle kids, work, and cleaning a home?
I have 3 kids. Two of those kids are in school all day and my youngest is home with me. He does a pretty good job of throwing things around and making a mess.
Being a mom can be so hard sometimes. Not only do we have to worry about the health and wellness of our own tiny humans but we’re also worrying about what others could be thinking of us or comparing ourselves to other women.
I live in a neighborhood where the lawns are always pristine and the homes are immaculate from what I can tell. It astonishes me how everyone has it all together all the time. So then, I start to feel bad that my lawn has leaves all over it and I’m too tired to rake them since I worked early in the morning and work at my nursing job that night.
Do you ever feel this way, or am I the only one?
For the past couple of months, I have been trying so hard to have only positive thoughts and feelings and I can honestly say, it’s been helping me.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t still compare myself to others at times(I’m only human), but I don’t let things get me down like it used to. Someone will always be thinner than me, or more talented than me, or more pretty than me.
I can’t control the world around me but I can control the way things affect me and how I react to things because I am in control of myself.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
I do notice when I am comparing myself to others, I feel down and all around unhappy. These feelings bring negative energy to our lives and I completely believe these negative feelings attract more negativity into our lives.
- The first step is to recognize when you’re comparing yourself to another. Once you’re able to recognize when it is happening, the hope is you can nip it in the bud and move on quickly. Think of something positive about that person, like, “wow they are looking healthy and fit, good for them”.
- Try and focus on your talents and what you have to offer. This one has always been difficult for me because a lot of times I have thought that I have no talents, but you know what? I know I have many talents; I just have never thought about my abilities as talents before. I am a good cook, a good mother because my children are alive and healthy. I’m a good homemaker and I have a sense of humor. I have the ability to forgive and to love others, and I can be crafty when I want to be. These are all great talents to have. It’s just important that we keep reinforcing these positive things in our minds so that we know our worth and when we do compare, we know that we are just as awesome as the person we are comparing ourselves to.
- You never know who is comparing themselves to you. Have you ever thought that it was possible for someone else to be comparing themselves to you? Maybe someone is envious of my home, of my job, maybe of my time, I spend at home. Some women stay at home but wish they could work outside of the home and have a career. Some women with careers wish they can be home with their children instead of working. We all have our own paths laid out in front of us and when we compare we are negating the blessings we have in our lives. Being a working mom can be a blessing. I know some days when I have to go to work, I am excited because I get to have a break from my life for a bit. Maybe, women who work a lot appreciate their time at home more. I don’t work all that much; maybe 15 hours a week so I get to be home a lot. Being able to go to work is a blessing for me sometimes because it gives me some social interaction and I get to have fun too.
- Social media is not always reality. Do you ever scroll your different social media sites and see all these beautiful people with beautiful lives? Do you think that’s always real? Well, it’s not and they are lying to you. When it comes to social media, you try and put your best foot forward; people are not willing to show themselves in the current state they are in. People take pictures at parties when they are all spruced up, they take pictures of a family dinner when things are all cleaned up, etc… If you want real life, just look around your home now. Is it clean right now? Are your trash cans emptied? Do your children still have their pajamas on? Is your bed made? Do you have a pile of laundry? Ok, that is real life, friends. When I put things in perspective, I know I’m not alone. Other women are in my same boat but we just do the best we can do.
One really important thing you can do is try and forgive yourself for being down on yourself while comparing yourself to others. Do your best to have positive thoughts towards others and you will attract this positivity into your own life. You will see the difference in your own life when you do this. Try not to be so hard on yourself mama, it will get easier. You’re awesome and never forget that.