In the previous articles that I have written, I have expressed to you how difficult my toddler can be sometimes. He throws tantrums, he screams, he cries; all while ignoring my requests to stop.
We are constantly butting heads.
I become very frustrated and angry which triggers his frustration even more; then it becomes a whole vicious cycle.
Anytime he is at preschool, he is the perfect angel. If he is ever with a family member, he is also very well behaved.
At times I wonder what I’m even doing wrong? Why does my kid hate me? Why can’t I control his behavior?
Ever wonder why your toddler is so well behaved for everyone else and has meltdowns when he is with you?
I was discussing this with some people and I came up with some conclusions.
While at preschool, our kids are expected to be on their best behavior. They aren’t allowed to scream and jump around. Also, when with a family member, they need to be on their best behavior.
Then what happens when your child is back at home with you? Complete meltdowns commence and my brain is fried.
Why Does My Toddler Have Meltdowns When I’m Around?
With all the stressors our children face away from their mom, by the time they come home; they are ready to let go of everything.
Being around mom or dad is where they feel safe. They feel so comfortable because you are their support system. You are their comfort.
It is actually quite amazing if you think about it. They only feel comfortable around you and that is why they are letting go of the emotions they have been keeping in all day.
It is really hard being a small child with all these emotions that you don’t know how to control or handle. They are little and are doing their best to behave.
When they come home and feel safe again, they just let it all out and release all these emotions they have been bottling up all day.
They can’t verbally explain to you what exactly is frustrating them so they do the only other thing they know, which are meltdowns.
As a mom, it is hard to deal with the tantrums though so what can we do to get through it?
The simple answer is to make sure you’re giving them some one on one attention when they get home from preschool. Make sure this time is uninterrupted and you’re completely focused on them.
This makes your toddler feel super loved and comforted.
It is so hard when you’re in the moment with the meltdowns, keep your cool. I know, I’ve been there. We just need to breathe, calm down, and have patience with them.
They need love from us even when we are frustrated.
We are their comfort and safety and when they are freaking out with meltdowns is when they really need us to be there for them.
Don’t scold them or get angry at them for the fact that they are showing their emotions. If they can’t express their feelings or emotions to us, then who can they express them to?
Nobody else will listen or even understand them.
How We Can Help Them
If we are there for our children during their worst times then they will remember this as they grow.
As a teenager or an adult, they will remember you always being there and will keep letting their emotions out for you to hear.
I for one want my children to always come and talk to me about anything that is bothering them. I need them to feel comfortable confiding in me.
Remember, we are their safety. Be there for them and listen.
I notice when I take some time out and play with my toddler without interruptions, his attitude changes. He is more willing to listen to me and I can tell he is happier.
We should always try and be patient with our little children. They will feel loved and appreciate us for it in the long run.
Do you have a difficult child that has meltdowns regularly? What are some things you do to cope with it?
I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions below.