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There could be a million and one reasons why mothers feel mom guilt. I’m a mother to 3 kids and I know what it feels like having mom guilt.
Our lives as mothers are so busy all day, every day. We lose track of what’s going on or what needs to happen. Our surroundings start to look like a blur. Are we spending enough time with our children? Do they even know what I look like anymore? Are they feeling neglected?
At times, I forget what day it is. If it wasn’t for my planner, I would be lost! By the way, if you need an awesome planner then I HIGHLY recommend The Happy Planner. Take a look at the one that I have here.
Sorry, back to the topic.
Anyway, I know how you working moms feel because I am you. Being away from your kids really sucks.
Many women don’t have a choice and have to work. Many are so lucky to stay home. Some women want to work outside of the home and that’s awesome if that’s what makes you happy. In the case of women who have no choice, you can feel so stuck.
I have felt that feeling many times and it is so hard to overcome.
When I started nursing school, my oldest was only 6 months old. Talk about feeling guilty! Nursing school is brutal and time-consuming.
I was always gone with my clinical or studying constantly. There was a time where Mary Poppins was the best babysitter I have ever known. My daughter watched it spellbound.
When I first became an RN, I started out working nights. I was working the night shift for 5 years and let me tell you, life was rough during that time.
Trying to stay awake all night long was brutal. Then after work, trying to drive home without falling asleep at the wheel was another issue.
I would get home in the mornings and sleep for maybe 3 hours if I was lucky, interrupted. I’m surprised I never had a heart attack by how exhausted I was.
I had to come home and get a bunch of snacks and put on a show for my daughter so I could lay down on the couch and sleep.
The mom guilt I felt during that time was intense. I felt like the worst mom ever because I never had the energy to really play with my daughter. I barely cooked dinner because I was too tired. My husband was always afraid that I would be in a bad mood.
Who wouldn’t be in a bad mood running off of 3 hours of interrupted sleep?
It gets worse…
When I was pregnant with my last child, My middle child was in preschool and my oldest was in first grade.
I would get out of work at 7 am, rush home to get my daughter to school, come home and get my boy ready for preschool. While he was in preschool, I would get a solid 2 hours of sleep but that’s it!
I honestly don’t even know how I did that for so many years.
Just writing all of this out makes me want to go and take a nap. What a miserable time in my life! I always felt bad about not having patience with my children.
There was no patience because I was exhausted. I was always angry too.
I am so grateful I don’t work in a hospital anymore with insane hours and never having any holiday off! Being a nurse is not luxurious by the way. Always working holidays really added to my mom guilt.
If you’re needing advice about nursing, just message me with any questions. I can be honest with you.
Sorry, I got distracted again.
So, how do we overcome the mom guilt?
Take it from a mother who has been there. If I could go back now, I would try and change some things for sure. Take it from the lesson I have learned, I know what I’m saying
Know You’re Not Alone
Anytime I started feeling guilty, I looked around me and realized that I was amongst other mothers doing the same things I was doing. If they could do it and be happy then so could I!
This mentality really helped me feel better. Their children were safe, happy, and healthy and so were mine so everything was going to be ok.
It really was easier for me to know that I wasn’t alone in this.
I Feel Like The Worst Mom Ever
I used to feel like the worst mom ever because I had to work but I didn’t have a choice. Some women want to work because it makes them happy. So how is their brain wired differently than mine?
Do those women not feel mom guilt? I’m sure they do. Those women most likely feel guilty that they love working so much and wouldn’t rather be at home.
Loving your job does NOT make you a bad person or a bad mom. It just is what it is.
You Need To Make Time
It is very easy to forget the needs of your family members around you when you’re so tired and all you want to do is sleep. You can’t even see what anyone needs because everything around you is a blur.
I know this feeling all too well.
Set aside 1 hour of your time a day for each child. Whether you want to chat, go out, or have a fun activity with them, it’s important they see you making time for them. This way your child knows they matter to you.
Give them uninterrupted attention and leave your phone at home so you’re not tempted to scroll social media. Children need your undivided attention.
This same rule applies to your husband. He is most likely working as well, so with the both of you working, it is hard to spend quality time together.
Give each other at least 1 hour a day of your undivided attention.
Really, an hour is not that much time but it can seem to be when you have so much going on. This is why you need to prioritize what is most important in your life. I know how hard this is and I have had some inner turmoil just thinking about it.
Don’t Neglect Yourself
Your children and your husband are not the only ones who need time. So do you! As moms, we are always thinking of other peoples needs. That is why we are the mom and nurturer.
We never stop moving. I know how I am at home. I never sit down because there is too much to do. I’m constantly picking up around the house, writing, doing chores, working my RN job, taking the kids here and there.
Life has never been so busy.
As women and moms, we are always putting ourselves last. It shouldn’t be this way. Since we are so worn out, we have nothing of value to give to our families.
Don’t forget who you are and what your needs are and take the time out for you.
I really do hope this post has helped you feel better about being a working mom. You’re not alone in this! So many other women are doing exactly what you’re doing. Just keep going, mama!