How Do I Know If I'm Done Having Kids-Half Stay At Home Mom
Mom Life

How Do I Know When I Am Done Having Kids?

Last Updated on

Having Kids

While I was dating my husband and after we got married, our idea was to have 4 children in our life. Since starting my motherhood journey, I had my first child when I was 24 years old.

I would have had a baby earlier except I lost my first baby. If you want to read about that, take a look here.

Now that my youngest is 3 years old, I have talked it over with my husband and we feel like we don’t need any more children. I might have had another one but my youngest is a very big hand full. I love him but he exhausts me.

In my mind, 3 children is a good number. I’m not like the Duggar family(no offense to them). I just don’t have that kind of patience or finances to support that many children.

I am a religious person and try to make this decision to not have any more children prayerfully. If I got pregnant by accident, that would just be something I would accept and move on with my life.

I’m definitely not trying to get pregnant now and do not foresee trying to get pregnant anytime in the future.

After all, I am 35 years old. Did you know that if you are pregnant after the age of 35, they consider it a geriatric pregnancy?😂😂😂😂😂

The doctor that came up with that name needs to be throat punched. Seriously?? Geriatric? Come on!

For those who decide to have a lot of children, good for you! I look at you in awe! If you can support them financially and not want to rip your hair out, then more power to you.

Seriously, I’m not here to tell you how many children to have. I am just wondering, how do we know when to be done having kids?

There are people in my own neighborhood that have 4+ children. Like, up to 6 children. I don’t think I could ever do that. I’m sure I would be bald from pulling my hair out!

Since I have been meditating and trying to get answers to my dilemma, I haven’t received any answers. To me, that might mean no answer means no more having kids.

How Do I Know If I'm Done Having Kids-Half Stay At Home Mom

What do you think?

How do you decide if you’re done having children? I truly want to know. It might help me solidify my thoughts I’m having.

Before I had my third child, I would look at pregnant women or newborns and my uterus would just cry because I wanted another child.

Things have changed after my third though. I don’t feel that yearning anymore and when I see a newborn, I think they are cute but I’m not dying to have another one.

This is why I am thinking I am done having kids.

Maybe this is my sign to know that I need to be content with my three fabulous children. I love them and they drive me nuts but that’s life. What kid doesn’t bug you at times?

This year, I’ll be turning 36. I really don’t want to be classified as a geriatric pregnant lady. I think I’ll just start living my life.

Going out and not worrying about having a diaper bag is kind of liberating.

Not having to potty train anymore is the most wonderful thing to me ever. Potty training is rough and I don’t want to experience that again.

One day, in the next 2 years, I’ll be home during the day by myself. Think of all the things I’ll be able to do!!!

I will be watching all the things on Netflix. There won’t be a worry of leaving the house with a child and fighting to get shoes on.

This time in life with my children being young and wild is definitely special to me. I love this time but seasons change and with every season there’s something new to love.

I know someday I am going to miss this crazy, hectic time but I will also enjoy my children as adults with their independence. It is going to be fun to see what the future holds for my little family.

How many children do you have? Did you always have an idea of having a certain amount of children? How do you decide if you’re finished having kids? I would love to hear some of your answers below.

How Do I Know If I'm Done Having Kids-Half Stay At Home Mom

6 Comments

  • Claire

    This really resonates with me. We too had decided that four children was our number. After the birth of our second baby (he was around 10 months by then) I told my husband I wanted to wait a couple of years before trying for number 3, but little did we know I was already 2 months into my third pregnancy making our third baby due to be born within three years of our first, three babies in three years, yikes! He was and still is a difficult child. Three weeks into his little life, colic and reflux took over, it turned out to be a dairy intolerance, he still reacted after a couple of months of eliminating all dairy from my diet, we made a complete change to goats milk formula at around 7 months which changed him almost immediately, the thought of another baby with the same issues is a nightmare for me! Fast forward 20 months later, we’ve moved interstate due to work, so no support system and an entire new area to build up our lives. My mother in law also passed away too which changed things. The 4th baby is now up in the air. I also have no maternal desire for another one, very same thoughts of feeling no urge looking at new borns and going through the motions of no sleep, toilet training etc. financially things will be a lot easier without another baby, car considerations, bedroom set ups, not to mention accomodation when we go and stay places. We too are a family of faith, so plenty of friends and family with upwards of six children and same thoughts, if it works for them and they love it, then hats off, whatever works for their families is the right thing for them, but not for everyone. I think it’s ok to change your mind, it’s easy to get an idea of what it will be life before having children as opposed to actually having them. Circumstances can change, including your state of mind. The reality of parenting is never as easy as it seems and each age group of children comes with different challenges and expectations. My husband is still set on four, and I’m not entirely opposed at this stage (I’ve only just made it to 32, so still a number of baby making years left). But for now, I’m happy with my three beautiful babies that we already have and either way, we still have the choice for a while yet if we decide to go down that path again. It might be a good thing when my daughter is a little older and can help with some of the responsibilities of a new little baby!

    • Talinanderson

      Thank you for your comment. It seems we’re in a similar boat. We keep going back and forth about it. Most days, we are sure we’re done and on other days, we feel confused. I wish we had a big neon sign right in front of our faces to tell us what to do. It’s so hard to know when to be done having kids.

  • Jennice

    I just had my 2nd child in December 2018. My first child is 11 years old. I had her when I was 18 and even though I knew I wanted a son, I also knew that he would be alot younger than my daughter because financially I was barely making it. Now that I have the two I just feel a sense if completion and contenetment. I am going to be taking birth control soon becaus I really mean to have no more children. My 2 closest friends have 13 children between them and I have another aquaintance who is expecting her 9th child with her husband. I love children but I couldn’t have that many because I dont think I’d be able to handle that mentally. Having kids is about much more than just finances. Great post.

    • Talinanderson

      I am happy you have felt that sense of completion and wholeness with your children. That is the most important thing. There’s no way I could mentally handle 9 children so good job to your friend for doing that! Thank you for your comment.

  • Beth

    I want to know the answer to this too! Before we had kids hubby joked about having a basketball team. We currently have 2 boys and he says he’s ok stopping. I go back and forth a lot. Most days I want more. Some days I think about what it was like to sleep through the night and get excited that that could be soon (my youngest is 10 months and still gets up 2-3times a night). I know if we wait too long I won’t be able to get pregnant so I feel the pressure of having to decide sooner rather than later. I also think that if I start sleeping through the night it will be a lot harder to go back haha

    • Talinanderson

      I feel you. It is so hard to know when you’re done having kids. I keep telling myself three is a good number and I really believe that. I am so tired right now that imagining having a newborn again kind of makes me want to vomit! Obviously, if it happened by accident, I would be fine and happy but I am not actively seeking it and I’m ok with that. 🤷‍♀️
      I hope you can figure it out soon. Having more is not a bad thing and if it’s the right thing for you then go for it. It’s just so hard to know.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge